Life is a big test!

Well - what a weekend. John went away and I had the kids on my own for the first time in years! With ordinary children that wouldn't be a problem but Jess is now about 50kg - so I borrowed a hoist/lifter. John left sat morning (very worried about us but I'm waving him off and thinking about what I was having for dinner that night as I had a friend coming around).

We went well (we - being Caitlin and I) - don't know how I would've done it without her! She was a bloody trooper. Anyway - by the time my friend came I was starting to get a bit queasy in the stomach but soldiered on through a few glasses of wine, ate a bit of dinner and then by about 10.30 admitted that I wasn't feeling great. My friend went home about 11 and I went to bed and from then on I was up every hour on the hour with the dreaded trots and huge stomach cramps. I was hoping that I'd be better by morning but I was worse! So I got Jess out of bed, gave her a shower, threw some toast in the toaster and Caitlin took over from there as I went back to bed. I only got out of bed to take Jess to the toilet and John came home about 5pm. Bet he wished he didn't!!!

Anyway - I'm at work now - in spirit only and have found that I really didn't need to have gastric banding to lose weight!! ha, ha......

Well, well - I'm being educated....

Guess who didn't have a fill !! What I love about my doc and dietician is they are very conservative especially when it comes to me as I live so far away from them.

The story goes that after my last post I started feeling restricted again which was probably apprehension and nerves as I had to do a presentation at work and then travel to N'Castle on my own, then go to have the dreaded fill..........so a lot was going on in my head and obviously in my band. Having explained this to Cathy (my dietician) she was reluctant to allow the fill as I have the hormonal restriction going on as well when it's time. She said if they gave me a fill that it would only be 1ml and it would make too much of a difference when the hormones were raging or I was stressed. So we looked at my diet and boy did I learn a lot there. I have been eating too much mushy stuff and not enough bulk therefore I've not being staying full or have been satisfied at a meal but not "full". So she's educated me in to using the band as a tool and eating more substantial food. She's happy that I've only ever had one PB and the aim is not to have too much restriction that would make life miserable and it's not how I want this to go. I know if I had the fill the weight would come off quicker but really I would rather lose the weight slowly and not vomit my life away. It's also hard when I am so isolated so would also rather do as I am told because if something goes wrong I'm up s**t creek!

So that's my news. Back to work tomorrow - oh joy.

Differences

I'm definitely in for a fill next Monday. Haven't been this hungry or eaten this much since before banding! It's not that I'm so ravenously hungry all the time, it's more that I can eat and nothing is stopping me like it has up till now - so I have to consciously watch how much I've eaten and stop.......boy that's something I've never done! So I haven't lost any weight for about 3 weeks now but luckily I also haven't put any on. I have done well - I must keep telling myself that!

My friend Jo- emailed me a photo of the two of us today which I will put on at the end of this post......it's a huge reminder of where I've come from. I can't wait till next week and get back to losing more!

I'm off to my mum & dads on saturday and taking Miss Caitlin with me and we'll be back tuesday....I then have a lunch date on Wednesday with a lady who wants to meet me and talk about gastric banding. Should be interesting as I'll be 2 days post fill so won't be eating a lot!!
I'll take photos too so she can see that its worth it.