Life is a big test!

Well - what a weekend. John went away and I had the kids on my own for the first time in years! With ordinary children that wouldn't be a problem but Jess is now about 50kg - so I borrowed a hoist/lifter. John left sat morning (very worried about us but I'm waving him off and thinking about what I was having for dinner that night as I had a friend coming around).

We went well (we - being Caitlin and I) - don't know how I would've done it without her! She was a bloody trooper. Anyway - by the time my friend came I was starting to get a bit queasy in the stomach but soldiered on through a few glasses of wine, ate a bit of dinner and then by about 10.30 admitted that I wasn't feeling great. My friend went home about 11 and I went to bed and from then on I was up every hour on the hour with the dreaded trots and huge stomach cramps. I was hoping that I'd be better by morning but I was worse! So I got Jess out of bed, gave her a shower, threw some toast in the toaster and Caitlin took over from there as I went back to bed. I only got out of bed to take Jess to the toilet and John came home about 5pm. Bet he wished he didn't!!!

Anyway - I'm at work now - in spirit only and have found that I really didn't need to have gastric banding to lose weight!! ha, ha......

Well, well - I'm being educated....

Guess who didn't have a fill !! What I love about my doc and dietician is they are very conservative especially when it comes to me as I live so far away from them.

The story goes that after my last post I started feeling restricted again which was probably apprehension and nerves as I had to do a presentation at work and then travel to N'Castle on my own, then go to have the dreaded fill..........so a lot was going on in my head and obviously in my band. Having explained this to Cathy (my dietician) she was reluctant to allow the fill as I have the hormonal restriction going on as well when it's time. She said if they gave me a fill that it would only be 1ml and it would make too much of a difference when the hormones were raging or I was stressed. So we looked at my diet and boy did I learn a lot there. I have been eating too much mushy stuff and not enough bulk therefore I've not being staying full or have been satisfied at a meal but not "full". So she's educated me in to using the band as a tool and eating more substantial food. She's happy that I've only ever had one PB and the aim is not to have too much restriction that would make life miserable and it's not how I want this to go. I know if I had the fill the weight would come off quicker but really I would rather lose the weight slowly and not vomit my life away. It's also hard when I am so isolated so would also rather do as I am told because if something goes wrong I'm up s**t creek!

So that's my news. Back to work tomorrow - oh joy.

Differences

I'm definitely in for a fill next Monday. Haven't been this hungry or eaten this much since before banding! It's not that I'm so ravenously hungry all the time, it's more that I can eat and nothing is stopping me like it has up till now - so I have to consciously watch how much I've eaten and stop.......boy that's something I've never done! So I haven't lost any weight for about 3 weeks now but luckily I also haven't put any on. I have done well - I must keep telling myself that!

My friend Jo- emailed me a photo of the two of us today which I will put on at the end of this post......it's a huge reminder of where I've come from. I can't wait till next week and get back to losing more!

I'm off to my mum & dads on saturday and taking Miss Caitlin with me and we'll be back tuesday....I then have a lunch date on Wednesday with a lady who wants to meet me and talk about gastric banding. Should be interesting as I'll be 2 days post fill so won't be eating a lot!!
I'll take photos too so she can see that its worth it.

Photos as promised....

You can see the difference - the rolls under the neck are gone and my arms and legs are skinnier!!!

Reporting in....

I think I might have a new photo taken for the blog photo - that one with the green shirt on is very disturbing yet I suppose it shows how far I've come.

I'm having some friends around for a night in tomorrow night. The way the weather is it may be a good idea. It may be cold here but my readers from Canberra, Inverell and Melbourne may disagree with that.........bet you're all freezing those proverbials off!!


Work has been rather mundane this week. Not a lot to report.... only got 4 days at work next week then a conference on the Friday and I'm off to the Doc and Dietician for the big fill on the following Monday.

I've started scrapbooking again - didn't realise how much I missed it but I'm on a roll and am nearly finished scrapping my 2006 photos!

BINGO!

Just gotta tell the 2 people reminicing on my blog that I'm off to a Bingo Marathon tomorrow at Wellington RSL - gotta go and show the old girls how it's done!!

Bring back the drop waisted dresses - they'd probably fit me again now! I saw a photo of me in 2000 today and I am 5kg lighter now than then so yes I am very proud of what I've achieved so far. My new size 22 jeans are too big for me - I can pull them up and down without undoing the fly or the zip!!! That'll be you too soon Myf - you are doing so well and catching up to me - slow down girl! That rotten Tina has overtaken me she is doing that well!

Anyway enough for now. Bye.

Time goes by

We had our big night out in Wellington - had a lovely dinner (yep - didn't eat much but it was nice) and then went to a nightclub/disco where our friends were the dj's - so the music was great but it was that loud it was making my chest vibrate...........we bailed out about midnight. It was great to catch up with our friends but going back to a town you grew up in is a bit of a slap in the face because you are meeting your friends and classmates children at discos!! I felt old and didnt enjoy dancing with the 18 yr old chickybabes at all! - they all looked not a day over 12 to me.

We picked Caitlin up from nan's in the a.m and took her out to Burrendong Dam for a drive and then out to John's family farm for a look.

I must say I did run into a lot of people who haven't seen me for a while who commented on how good I look which is great for the ego! I will weigh in on Monday and see how I'm going......not expecting much at all.

Looking forward again....

Something to look forward to is always a good thing. It takes your mind off the present and slips it into the future and to a place you want it to be. I love having something to look forward to even if it's only something small like having my hair done. This weekend we've decided to go to Wellington. We have respite (even tho Miss Jess doesnt know that yet.....she finds out as we are pulling into the respite centre as it aint pretty when she finds out and very heartwrenching for us - so we leave it till the last minute). We are going to ask John's mum if she will have Caitlin and we will flit around town visiting friends and staying in a motel......yeah get your mind out of the gutter - John has that anticipation too!

Anyway - better get dinner for the troops - they are starting to chew my leg off! Hey - wonder if that counts as weight loss?