Impatience

I've got to get over the wanting to lose the weight overnight. I know it's taken all these years to gain the weight so it won't happen overnight but I think it's because it's been such a long wait for the op and now it's over I expect things to move a lot quicker.

People are really surprised when they see me (which is a worry - I must have looked bloody awful before!) - they are just saying how good I look but I think that has a lot to do with attitude cos I feel pretty good too.

My dietician rang me today for my first "virtual' appointment. She was really happy with where I'm up to and I seem to be doing all the right things. I do miss Diet Coke a lot though. She suggested if I really wanted it to let it go flat........hmmm.....don't know if I want it that bad.

I got on the cross trainer today for about a kilometre - bloody hell........it got the heart rate going! I'm going to just increase the time and the distance each day for now. Anything is better than nothing! See Karen I did get off my ar*e eventually............seem to remember you think exercise is a dirty word!!!!

Mushy Moments

Had a good day today - got to eat for the first time in 4 weeks!! I had porridge for breaky and was hungry mid morning so had pureed peaches, then chicken curry soup for lunch and yoghurt for mid afternoon then Shepherds Pie for dinner (that was so yum!). It worries me that I'm getting hungry in between meals but I dare say that means my tummy is settling down from the op and I'm getting ready for my first fill. But if I can survive on what I had today I dare say I will still lose some weight surely. There was only half a cup in each serve for gods sake!! I know I'm getting smaller cos my clothes are loose and my bras are fitting much better rather than cutting into me. I'm not going to weigh myself until next Monday now. I'm turning into a scale jumper so don't want that. I'll just look forward to each Monday.

The cross trainer is up and running and I'm going to give it a workout tomorrow morning.....providing I get out of bed in time. Only going to take it easy to start with cos you just can't rush these things! Having said that if I want to lose the weight I'm going to have to exercise as well....it's just that getting started bit. I used to be so fit (years ago now) and loved playing sport and my dream is to get back to being that person. I've already got friends lined up to play tennnis with me so to be able to do this I'm going to have to gain some level of fitness!

By the way Myf - I feel great - can't believe it's 2 weeks today since the op. I'm still a little bit sore when I'm tired and I'm a bit disappointed that I haven't lost more weight than I have but that's just me wanting it to happen overnight. When I look at it I've lost just on 10kg in 4 weeks so that's good. About 5 of them in the last 2 weeks. So 2.5kg a week is pretty good really. My downfall is that I watch the Biggest Loser and I want to lose weight like them........and what are they doing that I'm not - EXERCISING!! I'm also not getting enough water into me......that's another aim for tomorrow.

Other stuff....

I forgot to mention I'm going on "mushies" tomorrow! Woohoo.....real yet sloppy food for two weeks and then normal food for a week and then I have my first fill on 17th March when I see the Dietician and the surgeon for follow up. That worked out well as my Dad is turning 70 that week (and my friend Karen S is turning 21 and some months on the same day!) so we are going out for dinnner on the 16th with my family to celebrate Dads birthday. The funny thing is we are going to an "all you can eat" restaurant! What a waste......I'm going to make some very big decisions that night cos I know I won't be able to eat much so I will have to make sure it's something very nice!

My dear hubby is at present putting my new cross trainer together - do you think calling it a "f**king pr*ck of a thing" is a bad thing?

Back to real life

I started back at work today. It was great to see everyone and the comments were ranging from "wow you look great" to "I can see you've lost weight already" - no wonder I work there - they are great for my ego! I realise now that all the support I am getting is having a such a positive effect on me....wonder what I'd do if I didn't have any support. I thrive on other people's encouragement.....suppose that's normal for anyone.

To Karen S: I love you too. I value your friendship and your neverending support - thanks for the lovely comment on Myf''s blog - you humble me. x

It's only Monday - we'll see how I'm feeling on Friday!

Got invited to a wedding today in October. Better not go buy a dress just yet. We'll see how much I can lose between now and then. Gives me a goal post to aim for other than just "looking hot by Christmas" which up until now has been my catch cry.

My friend

Well one of my best friends has decided to take the plunge. He is being banded on 20th May. I'm so proud of him for making this life saving decision. It must be catching cos another friend of mine is being done in April. I must have been the guinea pig! They just waited to see if I lived or not I'd say!

I start back at work on Monday and am looking forward to it. I'm bored as batshit at home. The first few days were great but now I'm over that too. I must be feeling better eh what! We'll just see how tired I get next week but at least I'll be busy. I looked at my emails today and have meetings everyday except Monday. Think I'll work short days for the first week though - just ease myself into it - can't be getting too excited about it! I've missed my friends at work though.

Going shopping tomorrow which is actually the first time I've left the house! Not intentionally but I had no reason to go anywhere and the idea was to rest which I'm very good at!

Update

I'm feeling better and better each day. Still get the odd catch in the tummy if I lean up against something or sit awkwardly but hey compared to this time last week I'm very good. No pain killers for 2 days now and am sleeping more on my side which is fantastic. Am still getting the odd bout of wind pain but nowhere near what I was getting. Still pretty tired and fly back to bed after everyone has left of a morning but am staying up and active from 11 or so until I go to bed. The wounds are healing nicely. I'm still on liquids and am pretty much over it! Looking forward to next Tuesday and starting mushies!!!

On an exciting note I received a lovely charm bracelet from my hubby on Valentines Day. It is a Pandora Bracelet (they have a website if you are interested just put in Pandora)....I now get a charm every 5kg! He's in the good books I must say!! I took a photo so I could show it off.

Photos taken on the big day...

This was taken before going to hospital on Feb 12.

Me being brave before surgery......and looking gorgeous!

Me after surgery with the wind knocked out of my sails!

Reading and Experiencing are two different things!

Well you can read about banding till the cows come home but until you've been through it you just never know how it will affect you. I have had a lot of pain and a lot of wind and put together that means more pain! I'm on a liquid diet which consists of:

Supradyn Multivitamin (make sure it's flat as flat or else you will pay for it later)
B'fast: Sustagen 125ml over 15mins then wait half an hour then another 125ml over 15mins
Morn tea: 125ml of juice plus 125ml of runny custard
Lunch: Sustagen same as bfast
Aft Tea: same as morning
Dinner: 125ml of soup plus 125 ml sustagen.
plus water, water, water.

I've weighed myself this morning and have lost 8.2kg since starting Optifast 3 weeks ago....I"m impressed with that.

Glad I'm not going back to work this week - don't think I'd cope. Off for another nap now....

Thanks for your good wishes again. Hey Carol - thanks - love you too xx.

I survived !

You lot didn't tell me that'd hurt !! The trip to the hospital is now over and I'm at my mums. I had the surgery on Tuesday and felt like I'd been run over by a truck! And I'm at the point whether I don't know if it is pain from the "stab wounds" or wind which is just as painful. Every day I get better though and I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I've been going into your site Myf to see where you were up to at this point! I'll fill you all in more tomorrow but for now I need some more sleep. Thanks for all your good wishes - they are more than welcome.

Special Moments..

Well - the time has come. I'm all packed and ready to go. We leave for my parents place tomorrow and then off to hospital on Tuesday. My little girl gave me a drawing today which says it all really. I thought I'd share it with you...

Bring it on.

I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 3.2kg since starting Optifast. I know I've lost more today as I could have done with a catheter at work today!

I managed to get through today better than yesterday so look out tomorrow! It's my last day at work and I have a meeting from 10 till 2 so the day will fly.

To everyone who has been supporting me - thank you for your good wishes.

Don't worry Bob - not much longer now!! Hope you end up looking as hot as me! Morticia won't be able to keep her hands off you.

Cranky, cranky and just plain sh**ty

I thought this was supposed to get easier!! Mornings I'm fine but afternoons I could chew a baby's bum through a cane chair as my father would say!! By the time I get home of an afternoon I'm a raging idiot and all because I'm missing food. Oh well as they say 'not long now' I suppose.

I think being so busy at work hasn't really helped as I'm really tired just to add to it all. Maybe I'll just have an early night - it's not as if I have anything to stay up for!!! No chips, no chocolate, no icecream......stop thinking about it Kath!

Getting there...

Well, I had a call from the dietician today which was great. She will now see me the day after the op. I also received a notice from the anaesthetist telling me how much I will be up for and a welcome pack from the hospital explaining step by step what is going to happen to me from when I walk in till when I walk out. Can't say I'm not informed!

Had a crap day at work though. Lucky the two other people in my office weren't around - I reckon they would have their arms chewed off by now. I was pretty hungry therefore very cranky and not at all tolerant of things that would usually go to the keeper. Oh well on to another exiting day of Optifast! I'll be taking my soup with me tomorrow - I've made some out the "free" vegies - it'll get me through the day at least.

The Optifast Experience so far....

It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Now I've got some input from the dietician and she's given me the do's and dont's I feel more able. As I've mentioned, John (husband of mine) decided he was going to join me on the Optifast. He has been doing pretty well but I was cooking sausages for the kids tonight and he caved!! I don't really like sausages so I didn't begrudge him for it. I felt very self righteous though!

We did have a slight hiccup last night - we went to a friends house for what they called "my last hoorah" - it was arranged in good faith with them not knowing I would already be on the Optifast. I had a couple of drinks and more food than I should have but all in all in the scope of things I haven't faltered since starting last Tuesday. Back to the 3 shakes a day today and had Salad for dinner tonight as well.

Jess hasn't had a great day today. She's epileptic and has had 3 seizures today. We are in the process of filming her and sending this to the Doc in Sydney. On a more positive note we are off to Sydney next weekend to pick up her new wheelchair which will make life easier. Then she goes into respite on the Monday and we are off to Newcastle for my banding op. Wow - it's getting close now. 5 more working days......

Be Positive..

I've been reading blogs and getting the most valuable information. I now know that my head is going to be the biggest hurdle to get around. And learning to eat differently.....and dealing with GAS!

Another thing is 'friends' even though they are well meaning are already becoming experts in my weight loss! The first person who says to me "should you be having that" is going to be very sorry!

That's a warning to anyone who reads this by the way. It's my journey - please respect that.

Not that anyone has done that yet but I have had it happen many times before and I'm a big girl (in more ways than one) and am responsible for where I am and I can make my own mistakes and hopefully learn from them along the way. The demons I have to battle I will have to battle on my own and positive support is welcomed but anything negative is not. As Myf says "I am my own worst critic" - so I don't need any more criticism than I give myself. I know I'm going to succeed in this so bring it on.