Weigh in day.

I nearly forgot to weigh in this morning! I jumped on the scales not expecting too much what with Xmas and all the social outings we've had. I actually lost another 700gms. Which takes me to 23.7kg. I love that it's coming of in bits now, as long as I lose over 500gms per week I'm happy.

My big achievement this week was walking into Suzanne Grae - a shop I havent been into for about 25 years and buying a size 20 shirt!! My intention was to buy some t-shirts for Jess which I did but then I spotted this shirt and thought 'gee do you think it might fit??' It did and it could've been the ugliest shirt in the world and I still would have bought it because it FIT!!! I walked out of that shop about 2 feet taller!

Weigh in

Well I must be doing something right! I've lost another 800gms (should've breathed in for another 200gms!!) so that takes me to a total of exactly 23kg. Do you think I can lose 2kg in the next couple of days?? I was supposed to hit 25kg before Xmas!!! Oh well - I'm so happy to have lost 23kg it's not funny.

I went to the sale at Autograph this morning and bought new clothes! Probably a stupid thing to do but hey they were half price! Size 20 was the biggest. Can't believe I'm saying that. Before a size 26 was pushing it.

Can't wait to see my brother whom I havent seen often this year. He'll notice the difference big time. And I reckon it'll be the first time I"ve been lighter than him!!!

A quote from my dietician..

Yesterday I had my phone consult with my dietician - Cathy. She is very pleased with my progress as I've lost 5kg in 6 weeks. She also asked how often I get on the scales......and I told her that "yes - I used to be a scale jumper but now I try my best to get on the scales only on a Monday"....she said (and I thought this was very thought provoking):

"if you get on the scales every day, the only thing it will change is your mood"

Weigh in...

It's slow and steady but still going down - lost another .5 this week which makes a total of 22.2kg! I'm really starting to get a shape about me now which has been "missing in action" for many years. Yeah me!

Weigh in

Only a loss (but it's a loss) of 400gms this week. Taking total to 21.7kg. That's all for now. Hope everyone is well. Thanks for the comments - much appreciated.

Measurements

Well not much of difference - isnt that weird when I'm smaller???

Boobs: 122cm = -19cm
Waist: 110cm = -22cm
Stomach 134cm = -17cm
Legs 56cm = -10cm (upper)
Legs 40cm = -7cm (lower)
Neck 41cm = -4cm
Arms upper 34cm = -4cm

Total loss = 83cm

Weighing in....

Weigh in day: lost 1.0kg on the knocker so that takes total to 21.3kg..........aim is to hit 25kg by xmas and by george I might do it!

Photos - spot the difference....

Taken today

Yep - happy now!

As Tina would say: Woohoo for me!! I weighed in this morning......obviously it was good news. I lost 1.2kg this week. Which takes me to a total of 20.3kg.

I'm learning a lot about when to eat, what to eat and how to eat it! I really had no idea about real restriction until now. Breakfast is a big no until about 10am if at all. Lunch is ok and dinner is a maybe.

On to another week - now I'm excited. Wonder if I can hit the 25kg by Christmas?

My mum & dad are coming over this weekend for Jess's birthday. Can't believe she's 19! I'm so not old enough to have a 19yr old daughter!!!! Could say I was a child bride but I'd be lying....

Unbelievable result

I weighed in this morning and guess what - I put on 100grams! Can you believe it? I've had hardly anything to eat all week (brought up more than I care to remember) and I put on! Can I swear about now?

I must say though - about Wednesday I had a sneak peak and for some reason I had put on about 1kg. I dare say that was the transition from fluids back to somewhat mushy/normal food. So I have lost that. Next week I'd better have results or this bloody band is coming out!

Todays food intake has been:

No breaky - tried and failed.
Water
Coffee
Small yoghurt
Water
Chicken & Salad Wrap (small) but kept it down - yeah me!
Coffee
2 sesame crackers with cheese
Water
Water
Dinner: half a loin chop, 2 tabs potato layer bake and a few peas.

Restriction

Well now I really know what it's like to have a gastric band! I've never had this much restriction before.....and I suppose that's why the weight loss has been so slow. Although I am back on semi normal foods, mornings aren't great yet dinner is fine.....but small. Liquids are my friend.

Yesterdays food intake went as such:
Water
Water
Coffee
Yoghurt (took me hours to eat it)
2 crackers & cheese
water
4 sate prawns and 2 tabs rice
Water
Diet Cordial

This morning I tried a poached egg on toast - well that was a disaster! So I've had a water now and a coffee.

Oh I suppose you might be wondering about the scales this morning? I've lost 2.2kg this week - that brings me back to a loss of 19.2kg. I put on heaps in the 2/3 weeks before the fill. I'd hate to think what would happen if I didn't have the band as it would all just pile back on. So now I'm on the downhill run again and can't wait for next weeks weigh in. Might even have a measure next week - go Me!

Getting there....

I feel much better today. Boy - the fill knocked me around this time (and I have a bruise about 50c piece size around my port scar!). I had all the pain I had after the op this time with wind build up - excrutiating! Anyhow - I'm on the mend and am on mushies again and will be back on solids tomorrow. I'm back to eating minimal amounts and satisfied easily and for long periods which is what it's all about and to top it off I'm losing weight!!! I'll report on how much on Monday.

A little about fills.....since I know you are wondering!

I went to the Dr. he was disgusted with my weightloss and I was not surprised - he used the word "pathetic". And said it was his fault really as he has been too conservative with me and I don't have what I should have in my band. So he proceeded to put 1.5ml in my band - this he did by putting that great big needle in my stomach and waving it around in my stomach until he hit the port. Yes - it hurt a lot........a f**king real lot. He couldnt find the port at first so pulled it out and changed to a shorter needle....so I had to go through it again. He eventually found it after excrutiating pain (a pap smear is preferrable). Then I did the water test and failed. Couldn't get a half a glass of water down without feeling it sitting at the back of my throat....so then he decided to take half a ml out. So I had to go throught the needle bit again - same procedure only backwards.....yeah that was just as much fun.

I went home to my mum's (an hour away) and took 2 tablets as the wind had built up by then and went to bed for a couple of hours. I then got up and drove 4hrs home to Dubbo. Well by the time I got home I was in agony from wind pain (just like after the op). So took more tabs and went to bed. Laying down I'm fine.....anything upright is gurgling pain. I rang the doc this afternoon and told the nurse what was going on. She talked to the doc and he suggested I get half a ml taken out. Well - the only person in Dubbo who can do it has gone on leave until the 12th Nov!!! ##**!@% Anyway - I rang back and he suggested I take wind tabs and panadol and see how I go.....If it's no better tomorrow I'm back in the car and off to N'Castle. I don't love my band at the moment. I went on to mushies tonight (executive decision by me) as I think half the problem was that my stomach was plain empty. Had runny salmon and cheese sauce about half a cup - it was the most glorious food I have ever eaten and I feel a little better. We'll see how I go overnight.....watch this space!

Some positives...

Before I had my banding I was trying to control the onset of Type 2 diabetes. It now looks like I've got that under control. My blood pressure was also a little bit high before banding and yesterday came in at 120/80! So there are some positives showing already apart from going down 3 sizes in clothes!

I've booked in a week early for my fill so will have that next Tuesday now. Can't wait - I want to lose more weight. Now I've started I want more!!!!!

Struggling

I've got very little restriction at the moment. Weighed in this morning and boy it shows. I've put on 2kg! I'll have to be really, really good this week but it's hard going from eating very little to having an appetite and trying not eat!

I'm having a fill on 10th Nov and can't have it before then so will have to put in some real hard yards until then.

Oh well - Life goes on and hey I was 18kg heavier than this at the same time last year! I'll have another 5kg before Xmas you watch.....

Shopping

We had a great weekend....spent all our money! So having said that I'm taking donations now....my beloved friends...(only joking).

I bought a new doona cover in cream lace (very nice), handbag and matching wallet at a bargain price reduced from $229 to $70 for the bag. Perfume - Pure Poison by Dior that I will get for my birthday cos that's the only way he'd buy it. Clothes for the kids. Xmas decorations at the big xmas warehouse. Poor John got nothing - oh yes he did - I bought him some licorice!

On the weightloss front well............did I tell you I had a good weekend?

Not happy Jan!

Who ever said exercise was a good thing? I've been on that bloody crosstrainer every day this week and thought I'd slip on the scales this morning to reap the rewards of my pain and suffering - well I've put on 500gms!!! Now I'm pissed off! I'm not getting on again until next monday and if I've put on again the exercise is going out the window with the scales!!!

I'm off again this weekend (am I ever home lately?) on a warehouse shopping tour - it would be nice if we hadn't just been on hols and spent all our money but hey I'm sure I'll conjure some up off the money tree for a little retail therapy. John is coming too as we have respite.

New Photo

Don't know if you can see much difference. The old weight loss has come to a screaming halt. I'm now exercising again and will be getting a fill in the next few weeks. Hopefully I will get back on track then! This was taken at the wedding.

Last weeks happenings

I have another week off yet which is great. Not sure if I want to go back to work yet so that's a good sign that I need more time off! By next week I'll be so ready to go back I bet.

I have Caitlin home on school holidays and for those of you who have spent time with an 8yr old - it's a mine of questions mostly about what we are going to do next! We've been to the movies and seen "Wild Child" which was better than I thought it would be.

I had a lady ring me last week and ask if she could drop around to buy 5 bottles of my salad dressing! She had bought a bottle of me at the markets and says she's addicted. How's that - it's a hit - now I need to make my first milllion.....yeah right.

We have the markets again next sunday so I hope to get bombarded with customers - yeah I know I'm dreaming!

We went to a wedding yesterday.........the bride arrived in a horse and carriage and the wedding was at an old homestead outside Dubbo. It had been raining all day until 2:30pm....the wedding was at 3:30pm....it stopped raining, the sun came out and so did the smiles. It was a lovely wedding and it was nice to see two people who are obviously very much in love.

Photos as promised

This is the "God of the Ocean" - very sacred to Cook Islanders. I would say he became a God due to him being rather well endowed!!!


The beach - enclosed by a reef. This is where we went snorkelling - unbelievable ocean life - lots of tropical fish.






The Lagoon/Waterfall Pool right next to the bar! See the ocean out behind it.....?

We're Back already!

Hi all, well the Cook Islands are just as they show in the brochures - beautiful with lovely blue water and white beaches. The people are very laid back (and I thought Australians were laid back - they are nowhere near these people!). We had to learn to relax as everything was based on "Island Time" which meant it may or may not happen.

I had no trouble with the band - not that the food was that great. I thought there would be heaps of fresh seafood - no didn't see any! So unfortunately/fortunately they had great cocktails so I made my way down the list! And although they were just divine I did manage to put on about 1.5kg!!! OOOPS. It was so worth it - who cares.....I'm relaxed!

We had a few days of rain so had to resort to going to the spa and having massages, facial etc....that was really hard to deal with - NOT! The rain also gave us the opportunity to hire a car and drive around the island which we probably wouldn't have done had it been sunny. The petrol was $2.75/litre and we complain about $1.60!!!

The housemaid I spoke to was on $6/hour - I was gobsmacked! I wouldn't get out of bed for that! She said that's twice as much as she was getting in Fiji!

We did manage to go snorkelling and swimming a lot too. (tropical fish at your feet - it was amazing!).

I've got another 2 weeks off yet and am looking forward to getting all those jobs done that I don't have a chance to do usually like cleaning out those cupboards!

I have Caitlin home for school hols too so will be doing a few things with her as well.

That's all for now....more on the holiday later.

Happy times

It was time for my monthly checkup today and did so by phone with my dietician. I'm doing really well. Eating small meals, feeling full for 4hrs or more. Not really showing on the scales but am going down in size - gotta be happy with that. I'll be doing the face to face appointment in about 5-6 weeks from now.

We fly out on our holiday on Saturday 5pm. Am really getting excited now...just have to buy a couple of t shirts and shorts as I went through all my last years clothes and they are far too big (brag, brag!!).

Had the markets yesterday. It was an absolutely shocking day so wasn't expecting a lot. I did really well. Sold 12 dozen Peanut butter balls and about 15 bottles of my poppy seed salad dressing. I'm going back next month!

Exciting times

Not long now till our big trip to the Cook Islands. We fly out on the 20th. Caitlin and I went shopping on saturday and guess what............I bought 2 tops both size 18!! How's that! Everyone who walks in my house at the moment doesnt even get a "hello" - they get a top shoved in their face and me beaming saying "look at this!!!"

It's very strange that the scales are just going up and down on that 20kg mark but not much else but my body is getting smaller which is all that matters.

Myf - I know you are already gone but just in case you read this - enjoy the rewards of all your hard work on that trip - it will be interesting to read all the differences (I've just read some) that you will notice.

Keep up with me!

I know I'm slack and haven't posted in a while!

To catch up:

• We went to Morpeth (Maitland) last weekend for Mum's bday. Had lovely seafood lunch. Had respite too which was even better.
• Had a bloke I know die from cancer a week or so ago. 43 is too young to die and leave a wife and 3 kids.
• Now a teacher I've known for years has died from cancer as well so am going to his funeral tomorrow.
• I've been back to the Orthopaedic surgeon about my knee (which has been extremely sore and is the reason I'm not exercising) - he gave me the bad news that my knee is "stuffed". I'm up for a knee replacement within the next 10 years depending on how long I can last....not great news. Bring on summer so I can get back in that pool.
• On a lighter note I'm madly preparing for the markets where I'm going to be selling my Poppy Seed Salad dressing and Peanut Butter Balls (which are not for bandits!). That will be fun...they are very popular with my workmates and John's workmates so we'll see how it goes.
• On the weight loss side of things I'm getting lots of positive comments but the scales are not reflecting anything exciting! I'll take a photo this weekend so you can have a look for yourselves.

Good luck with your weight in today Tina - can't wait to see if you hit the 99.9kg! I'm so jealous but all in good time.

Thanks Sue for the lovely comments! and Diz you are a positive influence as usual.

More progress

I feel great today. Great because I bought new clothes and I bought my first "M" in years! No more XXL's for me! I also bought 2 new tops in size 20 and could have gone 18 but they didn't have any...I was so proud.

I've taken measurements - not that there is a big difference since last time which is surprising.

Boobs: 122cm = -19cm
Waist: 110cm = -22cm
Stomach 134cm = -17cm
Legs Upper = -10cm
Legs Lower = -7cm
Neck = -5cm
Arms = -4cm
Total loss to date: 84cm.

I wish I had have measured my fingers before banding as my rings are far too big and I also wish I'd measured my bum cos it's disappearing too!
Will weigh in on Monday - haven't weighed in lately as the battery went flat on my scales which is probably a good thing!

I forgot to mention I flew to Sydney for work last week (Myf you will love this one) - I didn't need to ask for a seatbelt extension and I had to actually pull it tighter to make it fit!!! You should have seen the look on my face - I was just daring that skinny little hostess to ask me if I needed one!

Scrapbooking

I had a very relaxing weekend scrapbooking with 12 other keen scrapbookers! We arrived Friday afternoon and left Sunday afternoon..........I did 27 pages - more than I usually do in a year!

I was, however, rather shocked to discover that where we were staying had a no alcohol policy but after the last few weeks I needed the dry out! Anyhow the food was great as was the company. I was in bed by 8pm last night - hard work all this sitting around. I must say John was happy to see me when I got home and so did the kids - I'm thinking they drove him nuts!

Will update the weight and the measurements this week sometime.

Finally 20kg lost forever!!!!

I've finally hit the 20kg mark! Since my fill I've lost 2.3kg even with the trip to Mudgee!

I will do a measure soon.....check out Myf's measurements - she's done so well!

I'm off on another weekend away tomorrow..........will up date you then.

MUDGEE

We had a fantastic weekend. My friends were begging me to turn the car around and not come home! We did the wineries on Saturday afternoon and I bought quite a few bottles of wine which will be consumed over a long period of time. I get caught up in the moment! John says "do we have to buy something at every winery?" well of course we do! I didnt buy anything at the last one which surprised him but the wine was crap! I'll weigh in tomorrow and see how it's all going and reveal my weekend sins then!

Mudgee is such a lovely place. You could go there over and over and not visit the same winery twice. We only went to about 6 and I dare say there are at least 50.

We had heaps of laughs and played a few tricks on each other which was pretty funny! They don't appreciate it when they walk out of a winery out in the sticks and find their car is gone..hehehehe.

The Fill

I've been over to N'castle and the concert was great. We also went shopping on the sunday and had a great day......tried a Sushi roll and won't be doing that again! Hated the smell....yuk.

Had a whole half a ml fill on Monday and drove home. Didn't think it'd make much difference but it has. I'm back to being full easily and not looking for food in between meals. Still haven't hit the 20kg though as I have to lose what I put on - Not far to go....weighed myself this morning and have lost 1kg since Monday which is great.

My friend has been banded this morning in Sydney and am waiting to see how she is - I think I'm more excited than she is!!!

Going away this weekend with 2 other couples to Mudgee for a big weekend - should be great fun. I also can't wait until I have a weekend at home........need to nest and my house looks like a bomb hit it!

A more positive update!

OK I know I've been slack and not blogging as often as I used to. I thought everyone would be over it by now and be getting very bored with my ramblings! So - I will endeavour to keep it up to date for the time being anyway.

First - the Disney on Ice adventure. Jessica was just beside herself with excitement. She kept trying to take the brakes off her wheelchair to get to the ice to get closer to them as she feels she knows them personally!!! It was the most rewarding experience for us just to see the joy on her face. She is still talking about it and carrying the program around with her showing anyone who is remotely interested. Sorry - no photos - it was far too dark!

The weight gain is nearly gone - I've lost about 700gms since Tuesday which is great. I'm still going for the fill on Monday though. I leave to go to Maitliand tomorrow morning and am going to watch my mum and Caitlin in a concert....which should be great! My mum is a very talented singer and Caitlin is hopefully following in her footsteps. It's great to see them doing something together that they both love.

Work has been very dull as the teaching staff are on leave so Karen (who's in Admin) and myself are left to party! yeah right. Back to "normal" next week.

Bugger!

I must be doing something wrong! That'd be opening my mouth and letting things fall in! I weighed in this morning and much to my horror I had put on 1.2kg!!! Can I swear now - is that allowed on blogs? I must've inhaled a lot of bad things this week which is a good reason to keep a diary!!!!

So - I am not only having a fill next Monday come hell or high water but I'm going back to basics this week:

* Drinking lots of water
* No junk food
* Being conscious of what goes in my mouth!
* Keeping my eye on the ball

and being nicer to myself.

I have had a few shock upsets in the last week both of which I shouldn't mention on here as people actually read my blog! But enough so that I'm worried about one and pissed off with the other. The one I'm pissed off with will know that don't you worry.

So - we will aim for the 20kg this week and have the fill on Monday and move on.

If I don't blog again before then........Good Luck on Thursday Mel - catch up with you on the banded side!

Loving this weight loss!

I saw a friend of mine I haven't seen since Xmas today. He was really shocked, surprised and very happy for me. He kept saying "gee you look good!" - so I'm suitably happy with that. I really hate that it has all slowed down so much for me especially as I see all my other banding mates doing exceptionally well....jealously is a wasted emotion I know.

I'm going to start keeping an eye on the scales once a week again and note it down so I can see there is still some difference from week to week. I may even contemplate some exercise - yeah we'll see.

I still have about 600gms to go till I hit the 20kg so next Monday when I weigh in I will be breathing out!

We are off to Maitland and N'Castle this weekend to visit my parents and go to Disney on Ice with the kids. Jess loves anything Disney and I can't wait to see the look on her face. Will post a photo so I can share.

Movement on the Scales

We had another big week. Caitlin had an accident at school on wednesday and was carted off by ambulance to hospital to check her out....fortunately it was just a fair bit of bruising although she was sore and sorry for herself on thursday. She's ok now.

I've lost a bit of weight this week and will probably hit the 20kg mark by the end of the week...thank goodness it's started moving again!

We had respite this weekend and had a great weekend. Yesterday was John's birthday so we went to the movies, Old Dubbo Jail, had breakfast and lunch out. Today we went to Wellington to a friends house for lunch and saw a few people we haven't seen in a while which was good.

Life is a big test!

Well - what a weekend. John went away and I had the kids on my own for the first time in years! With ordinary children that wouldn't be a problem but Jess is now about 50kg - so I borrowed a hoist/lifter. John left sat morning (very worried about us but I'm waving him off and thinking about what I was having for dinner that night as I had a friend coming around).

We went well (we - being Caitlin and I) - don't know how I would've done it without her! She was a bloody trooper. Anyway - by the time my friend came I was starting to get a bit queasy in the stomach but soldiered on through a few glasses of wine, ate a bit of dinner and then by about 10.30 admitted that I wasn't feeling great. My friend went home about 11 and I went to bed and from then on I was up every hour on the hour with the dreaded trots and huge stomach cramps. I was hoping that I'd be better by morning but I was worse! So I got Jess out of bed, gave her a shower, threw some toast in the toaster and Caitlin took over from there as I went back to bed. I only got out of bed to take Jess to the toilet and John came home about 5pm. Bet he wished he didn't!!!

Anyway - I'm at work now - in spirit only and have found that I really didn't need to have gastric banding to lose weight!! ha, ha......

Well, well - I'm being educated....

Guess who didn't have a fill !! What I love about my doc and dietician is they are very conservative especially when it comes to me as I live so far away from them.

The story goes that after my last post I started feeling restricted again which was probably apprehension and nerves as I had to do a presentation at work and then travel to N'Castle on my own, then go to have the dreaded fill..........so a lot was going on in my head and obviously in my band. Having explained this to Cathy (my dietician) she was reluctant to allow the fill as I have the hormonal restriction going on as well when it's time. She said if they gave me a fill that it would only be 1ml and it would make too much of a difference when the hormones were raging or I was stressed. So we looked at my diet and boy did I learn a lot there. I have been eating too much mushy stuff and not enough bulk therefore I've not being staying full or have been satisfied at a meal but not "full". So she's educated me in to using the band as a tool and eating more substantial food. She's happy that I've only ever had one PB and the aim is not to have too much restriction that would make life miserable and it's not how I want this to go. I know if I had the fill the weight would come off quicker but really I would rather lose the weight slowly and not vomit my life away. It's also hard when I am so isolated so would also rather do as I am told because if something goes wrong I'm up s**t creek!

So that's my news. Back to work tomorrow - oh joy.

Differences

I'm definitely in for a fill next Monday. Haven't been this hungry or eaten this much since before banding! It's not that I'm so ravenously hungry all the time, it's more that I can eat and nothing is stopping me like it has up till now - so I have to consciously watch how much I've eaten and stop.......boy that's something I've never done! So I haven't lost any weight for about 3 weeks now but luckily I also haven't put any on. I have done well - I must keep telling myself that!

My friend Jo- emailed me a photo of the two of us today which I will put on at the end of this post......it's a huge reminder of where I've come from. I can't wait till next week and get back to losing more!

I'm off to my mum & dads on saturday and taking Miss Caitlin with me and we'll be back tuesday....I then have a lunch date on Wednesday with a lady who wants to meet me and talk about gastric banding. Should be interesting as I'll be 2 days post fill so won't be eating a lot!!
I'll take photos too so she can see that its worth it.

Photos as promised....

You can see the difference - the rolls under the neck are gone and my arms and legs are skinnier!!!

Reporting in....

I think I might have a new photo taken for the blog photo - that one with the green shirt on is very disturbing yet I suppose it shows how far I've come.

I'm having some friends around for a night in tomorrow night. The way the weather is it may be a good idea. It may be cold here but my readers from Canberra, Inverell and Melbourne may disagree with that.........bet you're all freezing those proverbials off!!


Work has been rather mundane this week. Not a lot to report.... only got 4 days at work next week then a conference on the Friday and I'm off to the Doc and Dietician for the big fill on the following Monday.

I've started scrapbooking again - didn't realise how much I missed it but I'm on a roll and am nearly finished scrapping my 2006 photos!

BINGO!

Just gotta tell the 2 people reminicing on my blog that I'm off to a Bingo Marathon tomorrow at Wellington RSL - gotta go and show the old girls how it's done!!

Bring back the drop waisted dresses - they'd probably fit me again now! I saw a photo of me in 2000 today and I am 5kg lighter now than then so yes I am very proud of what I've achieved so far. My new size 22 jeans are too big for me - I can pull them up and down without undoing the fly or the zip!!! That'll be you too soon Myf - you are doing so well and catching up to me - slow down girl! That rotten Tina has overtaken me she is doing that well!

Anyway enough for now. Bye.

Time goes by

We had our big night out in Wellington - had a lovely dinner (yep - didn't eat much but it was nice) and then went to a nightclub/disco where our friends were the dj's - so the music was great but it was that loud it was making my chest vibrate...........we bailed out about midnight. It was great to catch up with our friends but going back to a town you grew up in is a bit of a slap in the face because you are meeting your friends and classmates children at discos!! I felt old and didnt enjoy dancing with the 18 yr old chickybabes at all! - they all looked not a day over 12 to me.

We picked Caitlin up from nan's in the a.m and took her out to Burrendong Dam for a drive and then out to John's family farm for a look.

I must say I did run into a lot of people who haven't seen me for a while who commented on how good I look which is great for the ego! I will weigh in on Monday and see how I'm going......not expecting much at all.

Looking forward again....

Something to look forward to is always a good thing. It takes your mind off the present and slips it into the future and to a place you want it to be. I love having something to look forward to even if it's only something small like having my hair done. This weekend we've decided to go to Wellington. We have respite (even tho Miss Jess doesnt know that yet.....she finds out as we are pulling into the respite centre as it aint pretty when she finds out and very heartwrenching for us - so we leave it till the last minute). We are going to ask John's mum if she will have Caitlin and we will flit around town visiting friends and staying in a motel......yeah get your mind out of the gutter - John has that anticipation too!

Anyway - better get dinner for the troops - they are starting to chew my leg off! Hey - wonder if that counts as weight loss?

It's Friday!

What a week.......nothing exciting happened just work, home, work, kids. Had car break down - that was fun! It lost all power as I was accelerating from a side street on to the highway! Shits were trumphs. And talking of shitting oneself.........I walked out of my office the other day and a jackaroo decided to crack a whip! I thought I'd been shot. Well - didnt he get told he was a "lovely young lad" in my language!!! He won't be doing that again.

For those of you who don't know I work for TAFE Primary Industries so I do encounter the odd jackaroo/jillaroo, ag trainee, horticulture students, woolclassing students, shearing students, conservation land management students and students who are aspiring to be Vet nurses. It's a real mixed bag and you should smell the joint when it rains and there is a shearing school on!! The guy I share my office with is an Ag/Woolclassing teacher and loves the smell of a shearing shed - I personally think it's something I will never get used to but it comes with the job! I'm sure not from a farm - my dad was a country cop and my mum was a teacher.......so I was classed as a "townie".

Anyway - on the weight loss front......well Myf must be on holidays cos she hasn't answered my question about the food. I'm going back to Doc on 23rd June so will have fill then. Just have to watch what I eat and keep up the water. A bit of exercise would be nice but the knee is totally blown out and is so painful that I'm contemplating going back to the doc and seeing if the surgery they were going to do is still on the cards. Can't be expecting to lose weight without any exercise! I also can't be bothered so motivation is lacking too.

Unsure...

Wow - it's Wednesday already and I haven't taken a breath this week it seems. Too much on the mind! I'm a bit worried about the slowing down of the weight loss....and I'm back to eating in between meals. You have a look Myf and tell me if you think I need a fill (you are my expert opinion!).

Before Bfast: 200ml glass juice with medication and vitamins.
Bfast: 1 x 40gm satchet date delicious porridge with skim milk and 1 tab brown sugar
8:30am - skim mocha
10am - pear
11.50am - mandarin
1pm (I might have lunch earlier tomorrow) - left over chinese - about a cup. Prawn chow mein.
2pm - 250ml juice
3pm - skim mocha
5pm - water 250ml
6:30pm will be 2 slices cornbeef, 2 tabs mashed pumpkin, 2 tabs mashed potato, 1 tab peas/corn then nothing except maybe a drink of some sort about 7:30pm.
I know I didnt drink my water today and that could be a factor.....and if I had lunch earlier I wouldnt have eaten the mandarin. I'm not excrutiatingly hungry but not happy about the slowing down of the weight loss!!! I'd like to lose one kg per week.......

Anyway other than that things are good. I bought a top today from a shop where last year I couldnt find anything to fit me! And I didn't have to buy the biggest one - god I'm clever!

Another one of my friends is going to have the banding done and I'm so excited for her! She is getting done on the 24th July which is not far away really. Don't envy her going on the old Optifast but hey if I had to go through it so should she!

Reality

I realised that the band has taken up all my thoughts and rightly so for a while now. But reality set in today with Jess being really unwell. Sort of brings you back to earth and away from it being about me. When she is like this it makes you realise just how reliant she is on us and we don't begrudge her for it at all. She ended up having a seizure at the end of the day which is where the day she had was leading and she seems fine now but it was a pretty long and constant day. Caitlin is so good with her I might add.

So we didn't do much today at all funnily enough. We did go out for dinner last night which was lovely. Great food, great company. I had a person I haven't seen for a year or so not recognise me - go the band! Must weigh myself tomorrow and see if that mum's weekend gain has gone!! Who cares I had a blast and it'll come off again I hope!

My mum is a bit worried about my sudden liking to alcohol consumption but don't worry mum I won't be having anymore for a while now!! I discovered Riccadonna & Pureed Strawberries - my new favourite drink but alas it's riddled with hidden calories!! Not the strawberries mind you....

Anyway - have a good week! I hope I do after last week.

Lifes a Bitch sometimes

It must be the week for it! I had a really bad day on Tuesday. Had a bit of a "misunderstanding" with one of my work mates and ended up snotting and sooking about that for a while. Then as I was just starting to recover I had a phone call which unhinged me again and off I went. Long story but it's a neverending fight for services for Jess that really gets my bloody boiling! Govt depts are the worst to tackle and I"m just the little black duck to take on the fight. I hate injustice and when it comes to my girl then I get even more feisty.

Today was a better day - I had a meeting with the Disability Advocacy Service and have found an ally who is going to help me which is great. I also handed in all my evidence for the course I'm claiming my RPL's for and was relieved to do so as it's been a big job gathering it all! Hopefully this will give me a Cert III in Govt and a Cert III in Business.

The Mum's Weekend

Here's a photo of the girls and myself....I love the fact that for the first time in my life I'm not the obvious fattest chick in the photo.! I look slightly normal - not there yet but much, much better than ever before. I'm one proud Mum!

Our weekend away was just brilliant. We left Friday afternoon and arrived in time for drinks & nibbles. I had a few of the nibbles but more of the drink! I love Riccadonna with pureed strawberries - my new favourite drink! We played a few getting to know you games and sat around talking till whenever and then hit the sack.

On Saturday we were taken into Mudgee (1.5hrs away) to be pampered at a beauty salon where I had a facial, eyelash tint, eyebrow and lip wax and a hand massage. Then of course it was lunchtime! We went to a Wine and Cheese place where the girls had antipasto platters of which I had one piece of bread with a bit of camembert, sundried tomato and proscuitto. I didn't indulge then as I knew I wouldn't have enough room for the main meal - not that I had much. I had 2potato & corn fritters with proscuitto and salad.....very nice but got through only one of them. Then they sat up and had cappuccinos and biscuits (of which I had a half a cap and the smallest melting moment I've ever seen - about the size of a 20c piece! which is just the right size for a bandit! We then went back to the cabins and had a rest for an hour or two (we polished off another bottle of wine) and then got picked up for dinner. I couldn't believe they would be hungry after all that but anyway we had dinner of casseroles and rice etc. I had 2 little pieces of chicken and about a tab of rice and opened another bottle of wine - it was yuk so I left it.
We the headed upstairs to the loft for a night of fun and games. We started with a trivia night, then Celebrity Head, then we had to wrap a couple of the girls in toilet paper and turn them into a mummy (which was hilarious) and then we had a "Singstar Competition". All the while drinking CS Cowboys. We had a great night.......great because we could forget about the world for a while and just enjoy each others company.
Anyway - boring you to death I'd say. Won't be weighing myself this week obviously!
It was nice to get home and find signs all over the house..."welcome home mum", "we missed you mum" and big hugs from all especially John who is still in a catatonic state poor thing!

Another Bandit !

Had the best thing happen yesterday. I met another bandit in Dubbo! yay - how exciting is that! She has lost 110kg.........had lots of drama though that we won't go into cos it's yukky and no-one would have a band if they heard her story and she has had the band removed for the moment and has put on 30kg! But hey - she's been there and done that and is going back again I think. She only weighs 90kg now and started at 170kg. I was nearly jumping out of my skin asking her about her experience etc. and she was just lovely to boot! She lives about 3 blocks from me. So I gave her my card and she works at my favourite pub even!!

I bought myself some new jeans - size 22! Legend status! I was in a 26 - yes I can admit that now.....still not revealing the weight though! Just watch this space - I will reveal it one day.

I've only got 2.5kg to go until I get my 20kg charm! I'm getting a two-toned "K"

Anyway - off on my weekend away tomorrow afternoon - destressing I hope. Really need that at the moment.

Getting Excited now.

Had a call from my dietician yesterday. She is very happy with my progress and made an appointment if I need it in June with the surgeon and herself. She is such a positive influence on me really. She gives me guidance yet doesn't dictate. I tend to listen to her above anyone else because everyone is an expert on dieting but not on a banding diet. I must do the diary thing like you Myf as it's very interesting seeing what you eat as I find myself comparing what I eat with what you eat and find it's about the same in quantity. Can't find that bread you eat up here though...and must find Jarlsberg cheese!

On a more exciting note - I had a call from the lady who is organising this weekend. It is usually an annual event for Mum's of kids with disabilities but due to staff changes of the organisers etc they haven't had a chance to organise one so it's been 2 years. We are being taken to the Turon River which is near Mudgee to a resort there (you can look it up on the net - turongates.com). We leave on Friday afternoon, stop in at a winery at Mudgee and stock up on my favourite wine (is that on the list.....hmmm...that's tough!) and then off to the resort. We will then have a few drinks and then dinner and games night (which is a good way of getting to know the other mums). On Saturday we are being given makeovers - not sure what that will entail but hey I'm up for it! We have free time in the afternoon which will probably involve more drinking or maybe a LLD (little lie down). The sat night we have dinner and more drinks. Sunday off to the markets in Mudgee and lunch in Mudgee then home. Can't wait - just gettting away from everything for a few days is great.

More Progress Stats

I've had another measure:

Boobs 123cm = -18cm
Waist 110cm = -22cm
Stomach 136cm = -15cm
Legs Upper 56cm = - 10cm
Legs Lower 40cm = -7cm
Neck 41cm = -4cm
Arms 34cm = -4cm

Total Loss = 80cm WOW!

It got stuck!!

I had my first experience with something getting stuck! Bloody hell - I didn't know which way to turn. I was out for lunch with a friend and STUPID me ordered steak & prawns. Well I haven't had steak since the banding and I had "hormonal" restriction going on! OMG - I am now officially a bandit. That won't happen again I can tell you.

On the upside I've lost more weight and have run into a few people this week who haven't seen me since the op - so they were more than surprised.

Things I am looking forward to in the next 5 months (apart from losing more weight):
1. Next weekend I'm going on a Mother's Weekend where they take mum's of kids with disabilities away for the weekend and pamper us. Really looking forward to that.
2. We have bought tickets to Disney on Ice for us and the kids in Newcastle in July. I know the kids will love that.
3. September - Bring on the Cook Islands!
4. October - our friends daughter is getting married
5. October - we are going on a Warehouse tour bus trip with our friends to Sydney.

Hmm...nothing in June yet - better fix that!

Another update...

I've officially lost 16kg. I'm at the point though that I want it to just fall off!! I want it over! My clothes don't fit me! I should be more positive about it all but I'm heading for the old PMS today I'd say so just don't look at me!

On a lighter note I was told by an bloke I've known for years that I look gorgeous but he thought I always did. How nice is that. Very flattering.

Life

Sorry I haven't been posting this week. Life has been rather hectic which is usual but more than normal. Work has been extremely busy and I seem to get caught up in all this other stuff which keeps me busy.

I have quite a few friends to support at present who are going through a really rough trot and am trying to give them as much support as they need. It's hard when they all live so far away - I just want to cuddle them and tell them it's going to be ok. One of them and you know who you are should really MOVE TO DUBBO!!! (I know she'll get a laugh out of that!).

Weight loss wise - doing well. Will let you know how I'm going with that on Monday.

Progress Stats

Date of Banding:
Boobs : 141cm
Waist : 132cm
Stomach: 151cm
Legs Upper: 66cm
Legs lower: 47cm
Neck: 45cm
Arms: 38cm

27th April:
Boobs: 124cm -17cm
Waist: 112cm -20cm
Stomach: 136cm -15cm
Legs Upper: 58cm -8cm
Legs Lower: 41cm -6cm
Neck: 42cm -3cm
Arms: 34cm -4cm

Total cm's loss: 73cm!

BRAG DAY

Today is bragging day. You may sit there and read this in absolute wonder of my awesomeness!!

I have officially lost 15.4kg !! AND............

I went shopping yesterday and tried on a Size 20 top (I haven't fitted into a size 20 since I was 20!) and YES it fitted - OMG I was so stoked I bought it.

That's all for now.

The Fill

I'm home......tail between my legs and all ! I should have read more about these fills before actually having one. I had no idea ! And to sum it up I said to the Doc - "will you hurry up -you realise this is as uncomfortable as a pap smear!" of course he said - "Oh I wouldn't know!.....once he found the port it was over in seconds but he found it a couple of times but the needle slipped off it! That sound was different...anyway it's all over now and I now have an extra ..........wait for it .........ONE ML in my band making it a total of 4ml in a 10ml band. I now know what restriction means again and I'm not liking it at all (and the bloody wind is back).

And to top things off we had a blow out on the way home. I still have a few more days of hols - our local show is on this weekend and I have a very excited daughter just busting to go. Then it's back to work Monday which will be great as I'm so out of routine with my eating and drinking....not that I can eat much at present but hey I'm sure that'll improve.

Anyway - thanks for all the great comments re the photos. On to the next 10kg....

CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE??

2 DECEMBER 2007

APRIL 2008

It's Friday

I can't believe it's Friday already! I've had a week off work and it really feels like a month - how weird am I? I have not stopped this week and am going to make sure next week is a little slower.

Caitlin & I are going to Maitland on Sunday, then I go to Doc for the big fill on Monday and to see the dietician. I'm looking forward to it now as the weight loss has slowed nearly to a stop and I"m feeling hungry more often.

It will be great to see mum & dad. Dad has been having a few funny turns and it turns out after lots of tests that it's caffiene induced! OMG........and you know what caused the last little turn........CHOCOLATE!!! He doesnt have any vices in life.....doesn't drink, doesn't smoke but loves the occasional chocolate - only problem is he will eat a block at a time!!! Glad that was all that was wrong with him and mum has him on rations now - poor dad!

Anyway - hope you all have a great weekend.

Good stuff

The big trip to the Cook Islands is paid for so it looks like we are on our way! Now I have a target to lose more weight for. It would be nice to have another 10kg off by then. Pity I can't get a nice big boat there or something as I really hate flying! Now we have to gain the respite for Jess while we are away. If the wheel falls off that wagon then we are up s**t creek. It's bloody hard having to rely on so many factors but that's a part of having a person in your family who can't look after themselves.

I've had a few people comment on my weight loss that haven't seen me for a while which is great. And the jeans I bought off ebay are all too big!!! How sad - NOT. I'll have to resell them though - nice jeans too!

Mountains and more.....

Well we had a great weekend away at Blue Mountains. Did lots, walked lots and put on half a kilo! Oh my god - nearly died this morning but then assessed what we ate and I am eating a bit more than usual and goddamm those homemade chocolates from the chocolate factory! I had about 6 of them and boy were they lovely. (Can't say I'd recommend going back there though as the service was crap). Anyway - on to another week of good eating habits. I go to doctor next Monday and dare say I'll have a little fill.

I did balk at one of the walks (my thoughts were 'gee will I walk from the Skyway back to Echo Point uphill etc or drive the car back' as "someone" had to do it and have a nana nap?? - guess which one I picked.....not the right one of course but I had a great sleep and after the week I've had it was worth it! I also received a phone call from the hubby and the kid "come and get me mum I can't walk any further!!!" so they didn't make it anyway - ha!

To all my lovely friends who leave messages - thank you.

To the Harpers who are going through hard times especially George - Yep one day at time. Love you all. Loved Conner's comment on the skin! Will pass it on to she who admires from afar.

Chasing my tail..

Well what a busy few days I've had! Nothing to do with weight loss and I will get to that.

Caitlin has been in hospital with a "virus" which compounded into asthma. She's been one sick little girl and is out now and has the rest of the week off. So John & I are juggling work and home at present. Hence the lack of me blogging! I'm not great at sleep deprivation and am functioning at present on 2 cylinders but we will get there.

On the weight loss front my measurements came in at a loss of 67cm!!! I'll put them in when I can. And I've finally hit the 14kg mark. So gotta be happy with that. I saw my GP today and she's so impressed she said she'd like to refer prospective banders to me for some positive input which was nice.

Anyway - need sleep but I'm at work so I'd better get back.

More progress

Well I weighed in 13.5kg lighter which is great. Only one pair of jeans slightly fit (they are baggy around the legs and stomach but they are elastic waisted so I can get away with wearing them a bit longer!). My shirts are starting to move around when I walk so much that I have to hang on to them! Wow - how good is that.

I went on ebay today and have bids on jeans 2 sizes smaller! I am a legend !

Comment of the day: "Gee Kath you really are short. I never noticed until you lost weight" - (I didnt take offense Kirrilly it was funny!) - so I gather I was as round as I was tall before. At least now I take up less room!

Boy - did I learn something today....!

In relation to yesterday's post.......I made a big mistake - had Optifast for breaky thinking I was smart and might lose more that way. Well it threw the whole day out and is the reason I was so hungry. I'm back to normal now thank goodness.

I rang the dietician today and fessed up to what I thought was wrong and she agreed that I need to think more in terms of "texture". Even down to the fact that I've been having yoghurt for afternoon tea if I get hungry - well that's a no-no too as it slides down easy and makes you hungry quicker. So I'm not going to have the fill on Thursday now and will keep my appointment in 2 weeks and I'm going to eat more substantial food.

I also said to the dietician I was happy with losing the weight slowly and being able to eat anything I choose in small amounts and she said 'that's what it's all about and that's what we aim for' - wow I thought everyone spewed etc and was dreading that!

I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning and hopefully will have lost a bit more! It will be 7 weeks since banding tomorrow so hopefully I will hit the 14kg mark which is excellent.

Restriction?

When I went to the surgeon a few weeks ago he gave me 2 appointments. One if I needed it this thursday and the other a couple of weeks later. I thought 'there is no way I will need the one on the 4th!" but today I've woken up HUNGRY!!

I've been hungry all day. Haven't eaten more than usual but I believe I may need a fill! So it looks like I'm off to N'Castle on Thursday. Now I know what they talk about when they say they've lost restriction and need a fill. I didn't really believe I had a lot of restriction but I think I need it now! Don't like being hungry......oh well I lasted a long time without one! I've been able to eat everything and anything but in small quantities and still lose weight which is how I like it. We will see how this pans out now!

I must be doing something right!

Today I had 2 compliments:

1. From a workmate who said she saw the cleaner talking to someone this morning but didn't know who it was and then after closer inspection realised it was me!! She said she couldn't believe how much I'd changed shape especially from the back.

2. A friend I went to school with didn't recognise me in the supermarket! (I only saw her about 3 weeks ago) - she did the double take and was astounded as to how different I look!

Wow - what a great feeling that is. I've never had this happen before and am so looking forward to the next 6 months or so to see what difference there will be between now and then.

I also had a bit of really fantastic news yesterday. We receive respite for Jess (usually once a month we get a couple of days/nights) and we also receive a bit of money from another organisation to spend on respite. This money doesnt go far as respite costs about $40-$45/hr so to go out for a night from 6pm till midnight is at least $240 out of our package for just one night out! So as you can imagine it doesn't go far and is easy to spend especially if we are to have any sort of social life. It has got to the point where people don't even ask us out anymore and I have a feeling it is because it has been too hard in the past for us to get away. So if you are reading this and you want to invite us out don't think I'll say no!!!

Anyway - I found out we've been given a bit more money and have to spend it before the end of the financial year. So if we can get care for Jess we are going to take Caitlin to the Cook Islands to a resort for 5 nights in September! I'm so excited as I've always wanted to go to somewhere (anywhere) tropical and we have never taken Caitlin on hols without the restriction (bad word I know but that is the best way to describe it) of having Jess with us. The last holiday we went on we went to Qld it took 2 days to get there, 2 days for Jess to recover and then we took her to Dreamworld and it took Jess 3 days to get over it! I just can't believe it's going to happen - this is like winning lotto to us!! It has taken us a long time to get used to leaving her with other people and have faith in their ability to look after her as well as we would expect but now we take advantage of it when we can - we have to get used to it for her sake and for ours. She needs to get used to being looked after by other people and we have to stop being martyrs and let it happen. Eventually she will go into care as we are not getting any younger and we need to have the knowledge that she is happy and well cared for before we die.

Anyway enough of the D & M - I'm going on holidays!!!! Hooray, hooray.

Losing Weight is Great!

Well here you go - a progress shot with a pair of jeans from last winter! Don't mind the stupid look on my face! They are way too big and will be given away tomorrow - or maybe I'll keep them just for shots like this!

I'll take a shot when I've lost 15kg of me on my own. By the way I've officially lost 12kg.

Progress Stats...

Date of Banding : 12/2/08
Measurements:
Bust 141cm
Waist 132cm
Stomach 151cm
Legs - upper 66cm
Legs - lower 47cm
Neck 45cm
Arms 38cm

21/3/08
Bust 127cm = -14cm
Waist 115cm = -17cm
Stomach 141cm = -10cm
Legs - upper 62cm = -4cm
Legs - lower 45cm = - 2cm
Neck 42cm = -3cm
Arms 36cm = -2cm
Total Loss in cm's to date = 52cm

A bit of a Reminder!

Well - I had the first reminder today that I actually have a band around my stomach. Up until today I have been able to eat anything (except frozen coke) and not have a worry....but today I had a pain between my boobs that wouldnt go away! It didnt get any worse at all but just didnt get any better either. I thought OK this is indigestion so just move on, then I thought indigestion from what though - I hadnt had anything since breakfast and breakfast wasnt any different to yesterday. But it still didnt go away so I took 2 Nurofen Plus and it vanished. Very strange but a reminder that I'm not the same as I was before banding. I feel fine now.

I found out today that a guy I know has cancer and it's everywhere by the sound of it. He's only 42. It is just so bloody sad for him and his family. Just makes me want to scream, cry and why - it's not me that's got it. But I feel so sorry for him. He starts Chemo on Tuesday and I hope it ends up being a positive outcome for him.

A good thing did happen today - went to see a friend that I havent seen since banding. She was very surprised at how great I look and definitely noticed the weight loss. She also said I'd lost the ruddiness in my face. I might take a photo this weekend and see for myself and I might even share it with the blog! I weighed myself this morning - it's Monday isnt it? and I've lost another .5 so that makes 11.5kg so far.

I'm doing well !

I'm home from my visit to the surgeon and the dietician. For those that don't know I had my op in Newcastle which is 5hrs from here. My parents live about an hour from where the doc is so that's no so bad.

I was so nervous when I got there - fear of the unknown. I saw the dietician first and she was stoked at how much I'd lost. (although her scales only said 9kg! - I forgot I'd put on 2kg between seeing her and the op). But I've really lost 11kg now. She said I'm doing all the right things and to keep up the protein with each meal. I took a food diary of what I'd eaten in the last week which was a good idea too. She said she didn't see the need for a fill as I was still losing weight and still had some restriction.

The surgeon said the same thing. He made an appointment for 2 weeks time just in case I need it. (he does the fills himself which I'm impressed with). And I have an appointment in 5 weeks time as well. So it depends on how I go. I'm happy with that - No fill for now.

My dad's birthday dinner was great. It seemed strange going to an all you can eat (and boy did they have some lovely food there of every kind) - I strolled up and down trying to choose what was my absolute favourite! I got a small plate of food and nearly got through it! Before banding I would have had 2 heaped plates of food, plus prawns and then lined up for dessert! I couldn't have eaten any more than I did if I tried.

I've made a big decision today - I'm giving away my "too big" clothes! I have some lovely clothes but these ones are far too big now and as I'm never going back to that size again I may as well give them away. That is a biggie for my head to get around - I feel like I should hang on to them just in case.

A Poem I found on Tina's Blog from one of her friends....

Hope you don't mind Tina - I Loved this poem.

The Journey
I chose to go on a journey
The most important one in my life
It started out in a hospital
But was not with stress and strife
It began with much thought and soul searching
It was not so easy to do
I entered into it joyfully
With positive thoughts thru and thru.
It took me down long winding pathways
Places I've never been to before
But entered with great expectations
And I knew that I want to learn more.
My life had been full of trials, Prejudices and grief
It was time to turn the tides of disapproval
And to swim towards the shores of relief.
This journey was not going to be easy,
No magic bullet that would make everything right.
It takes a great deal of planning, Support and positive insight
Everything that I ever had lived with,
Would have to be changed overnight
The newness at times overwhelmed me
But I kept my eyes on the light
The days passed by ever slowly
And I wanted results right away
But anything worth having takes time
And Rome wasn't built in a day.
I didn't embark on this adventure
For anyone other than me
This trip was granted by heaven
The results are for all to see.
Some days brought joy and contentment
Some days were filled with fright
When ever I consumed the right item
It filled my soul with delight
So on and on I traveled
But no road weary person was I
I adored hearing the compliments
That lifted my soul ever high
Now whatever road my life seems to travel
Where ever I choose to be
I stand tall and slender
From this gift that was granted to me.
Written By: Annette McKitrick “The Journey”

Just another day - not much to say...

First of all - do you like the new look of the blog? I need votes for yes and no. I was told the last one was hard to read so this is just a test to see if this is better! (Hi Karen Boyle!)

I'll post again probably Monday night and let you know how I went at the doc and the dietician. I'm not eating any more than a cup at a time......which is what is expected. Feeling great. Over the exercise already! Might go for a swim this afternoon as it's very hot here today. (not as hot as S.A and VIC though apparently.

I'll post more photos when I've lost 15kg.

Till Monday - wish me luck!

Smiling.......

Well you can't help but smile when you put on clothes and they look like they belong to someone else and someone bigger than me!! Hooray, hooray!! I must measure again soon - it will make me feel better about those rotten scales!

Work is good. I'm currently completing my Certificate 3 in Government and Cert 3 in Business primarily via RPL. More work than I thought but at least I'll have another piece of paper at the end of it. I might even venture on to more studies yet.....might not too.

Looking forward to going away this weekend to celebrate my dad's birthday and to see surgeon on dietician on Monday. Hope they are happy with my progress too.

A friend of mine told me she was pregnant today. I'm so happy for her and her hubby. I love getting good news - too many bad things happen in this world and you never hear good things! But this was very welcome news and a baby - I love babies. No more for me of course - I'm not going back there but I love other people having them so I can cuddle them and give them back.

Nothing in particulaur

I weighed myself this morning - yep a day early and guess what - I've lost a measly 100gms! I know that is because I'm back on solidish food but geez I was expecting more as I'm exercising and all. I have no answers to this one but I dare say it is because I lost so much initially and it's just adjusting or plateauing out. It's not as if I can do anything differently - I can't eat any less!

So this week I will endeavour to Exercise more and Drink more water.

I have had cordial (which wasnt diet), yoghurt everyday (half a cup for morning tea and half a cup for afternoon tea) which is 94% fat free - I think that's ok? and one Caramello Koala - yes just one. I'm also drinking skim mocha jarra instead of coffee. Can't see what's wrong with that!!! I think I will keep a food diary this week and see what goes in......and discuss it with the dietician. I started solids this morning - had half a crumpet with jam for breaky...that was disgusting. Then a coffee for morning tea. Then a small chicken & cheese wrap for lunch. Water so far would be 600ml.

That's about all for now. I will officially weigh in tomorrow morning and measure myself. Hopefully I will lose a little bit more today so I get a nice surprise tomorrow!!! I feel good and people are noticing the weight loss so that's all that matters for now.

Back to normality....

Funny how this process dominates your life for a while. I'm coming back down to earth now and back to worrying about my friends and their problems rather than myself which is what I do best. That's just how I am - it's not a bad thing and I've got broad shoulders. My shoulders are just going to have to be strong rather than fat from now on. I love my friends and I'd rather they unloaded on me than someone who doesn't give a continental.

I went out for lunch today with one of my best friends and was absolutely starving when I got there. She was a little late so I ordered a coffee, drank that.....still hungry...she turned up and we ordered. I ordered a chicken and mushroom crepe without the salad as I'm still on mashies.....it arrived and I looked at it and thought is that all! Well I got through half of it and I was full - wow - how's that for change! Before I would've eaten that and the salad and wanted dessert!

Went shopping this afternoon and bought lots of stuff for cardmaking which is my new project. I also went grocery shopping which is now a necessity and not something I do for fun - I used to love grocery shoppping and now I only go when I have to. Then I went and had the hair coloured, foiled and cut with my lovely hairdresser. Didnt get home from work until 7.30pm but hey I havent had that much time to myself in ages which is something I must do more often.

Weight Loss so far

Ta Da......I've lost 10.2kg as of yesterday morning and I'm exercising finally - that cross trainer sure gets the heart rate up!

Now I can't wait till next monday when I weigh in again. I wore some pants to work today that haven't fitted me in a very long time.....god I felt great! One of my friends has offered to take my work pants in for me and my first thought was "no - they will fit me again soon when I put the weight back on" and then a little voice said "hey - it aint going to happen this time, you've got the band now" - Wow what a feeling!

I can't believe I feel so good and am eating so little.....but hey who cares - it's working!

Progress

I don't weigh myself until tomorrow but have measured and guess what.......I've lost 38cm! Man that's a lot. I've lost 12cm off my boobs alone! I'm getting a lot of comments as I've lost it around my face too.

Had a good experience today. Went to a cafe for lunch (actually we went yesterday too but we got the wrong day - my friends thought that was hillarious) - anyway the owner new I was coming back today so she thought about what I could have for lunch today when I returned. She suggested scrambled eggs with shredded chicken and cheese. It was just lovely - of course I couldnt get through it but it was a very nice gesture. Everyone else had a big feed and then lined up for waffles, icecream and caramel sauce which I love but just couldn't possibly have eaten it. Go the band!!!

I'm not going to need a lot of fill I'd say when I go cos I'm not eating a real lot now. I'd be happy to leave it as it is.

Hi to all the people whom I've discovered this week that read the blog and don't put in comments - it's good to know people are interested in what's going on. One friend I ran into said "Hi -dont tell me how you are as I know from reading the blog!" which is great cos then you don't have to tell everyone the same story over and over. I reckon you all should have blogs too so I know what you are all up to as well!! Anyway on to another week - can you believe on tuesday it'll be 3 weeks since the op!

Impatience

I've got to get over the wanting to lose the weight overnight. I know it's taken all these years to gain the weight so it won't happen overnight but I think it's because it's been such a long wait for the op and now it's over I expect things to move a lot quicker.

People are really surprised when they see me (which is a worry - I must have looked bloody awful before!) - they are just saying how good I look but I think that has a lot to do with attitude cos I feel pretty good too.

My dietician rang me today for my first "virtual' appointment. She was really happy with where I'm up to and I seem to be doing all the right things. I do miss Diet Coke a lot though. She suggested if I really wanted it to let it go flat........hmmm.....don't know if I want it that bad.

I got on the cross trainer today for about a kilometre - bloody hell........it got the heart rate going! I'm going to just increase the time and the distance each day for now. Anything is better than nothing! See Karen I did get off my ar*e eventually............seem to remember you think exercise is a dirty word!!!!

Mushy Moments

Had a good day today - got to eat for the first time in 4 weeks!! I had porridge for breaky and was hungry mid morning so had pureed peaches, then chicken curry soup for lunch and yoghurt for mid afternoon then Shepherds Pie for dinner (that was so yum!). It worries me that I'm getting hungry in between meals but I dare say that means my tummy is settling down from the op and I'm getting ready for my first fill. But if I can survive on what I had today I dare say I will still lose some weight surely. There was only half a cup in each serve for gods sake!! I know I'm getting smaller cos my clothes are loose and my bras are fitting much better rather than cutting into me. I'm not going to weigh myself until next Monday now. I'm turning into a scale jumper so don't want that. I'll just look forward to each Monday.

The cross trainer is up and running and I'm going to give it a workout tomorrow morning.....providing I get out of bed in time. Only going to take it easy to start with cos you just can't rush these things! Having said that if I want to lose the weight I'm going to have to exercise as well....it's just that getting started bit. I used to be so fit (years ago now) and loved playing sport and my dream is to get back to being that person. I've already got friends lined up to play tennnis with me so to be able to do this I'm going to have to gain some level of fitness!

By the way Myf - I feel great - can't believe it's 2 weeks today since the op. I'm still a little bit sore when I'm tired and I'm a bit disappointed that I haven't lost more weight than I have but that's just me wanting it to happen overnight. When I look at it I've lost just on 10kg in 4 weeks so that's good. About 5 of them in the last 2 weeks. So 2.5kg a week is pretty good really. My downfall is that I watch the Biggest Loser and I want to lose weight like them........and what are they doing that I'm not - EXERCISING!! I'm also not getting enough water into me......that's another aim for tomorrow.

Other stuff....

I forgot to mention I'm going on "mushies" tomorrow! Woohoo.....real yet sloppy food for two weeks and then normal food for a week and then I have my first fill on 17th March when I see the Dietician and the surgeon for follow up. That worked out well as my Dad is turning 70 that week (and my friend Karen S is turning 21 and some months on the same day!) so we are going out for dinnner on the 16th with my family to celebrate Dads birthday. The funny thing is we are going to an "all you can eat" restaurant! What a waste......I'm going to make some very big decisions that night cos I know I won't be able to eat much so I will have to make sure it's something very nice!

My dear hubby is at present putting my new cross trainer together - do you think calling it a "f**king pr*ck of a thing" is a bad thing?

Back to real life

I started back at work today. It was great to see everyone and the comments were ranging from "wow you look great" to "I can see you've lost weight already" - no wonder I work there - they are great for my ego! I realise now that all the support I am getting is having a such a positive effect on me....wonder what I'd do if I didn't have any support. I thrive on other people's encouragement.....suppose that's normal for anyone.

To Karen S: I love you too. I value your friendship and your neverending support - thanks for the lovely comment on Myf''s blog - you humble me. x

It's only Monday - we'll see how I'm feeling on Friday!

Got invited to a wedding today in October. Better not go buy a dress just yet. We'll see how much I can lose between now and then. Gives me a goal post to aim for other than just "looking hot by Christmas" which up until now has been my catch cry.

My friend

Well one of my best friends has decided to take the plunge. He is being banded on 20th May. I'm so proud of him for making this life saving decision. It must be catching cos another friend of mine is being done in April. I must have been the guinea pig! They just waited to see if I lived or not I'd say!

I start back at work on Monday and am looking forward to it. I'm bored as batshit at home. The first few days were great but now I'm over that too. I must be feeling better eh what! We'll just see how tired I get next week but at least I'll be busy. I looked at my emails today and have meetings everyday except Monday. Think I'll work short days for the first week though - just ease myself into it - can't be getting too excited about it! I've missed my friends at work though.

Going shopping tomorrow which is actually the first time I've left the house! Not intentionally but I had no reason to go anywhere and the idea was to rest which I'm very good at!

Update

I'm feeling better and better each day. Still get the odd catch in the tummy if I lean up against something or sit awkwardly but hey compared to this time last week I'm very good. No pain killers for 2 days now and am sleeping more on my side which is fantastic. Am still getting the odd bout of wind pain but nowhere near what I was getting. Still pretty tired and fly back to bed after everyone has left of a morning but am staying up and active from 11 or so until I go to bed. The wounds are healing nicely. I'm still on liquids and am pretty much over it! Looking forward to next Tuesday and starting mushies!!!

On an exciting note I received a lovely charm bracelet from my hubby on Valentines Day. It is a Pandora Bracelet (they have a website if you are interested just put in Pandora)....I now get a charm every 5kg! He's in the good books I must say!! I took a photo so I could show it off.

Photos taken on the big day...

This was taken before going to hospital on Feb 12.

Me being brave before surgery......and looking gorgeous!

Me after surgery with the wind knocked out of my sails!

Reading and Experiencing are two different things!

Well you can read about banding till the cows come home but until you've been through it you just never know how it will affect you. I have had a lot of pain and a lot of wind and put together that means more pain! I'm on a liquid diet which consists of:

Supradyn Multivitamin (make sure it's flat as flat or else you will pay for it later)
B'fast: Sustagen 125ml over 15mins then wait half an hour then another 125ml over 15mins
Morn tea: 125ml of juice plus 125ml of runny custard
Lunch: Sustagen same as bfast
Aft Tea: same as morning
Dinner: 125ml of soup plus 125 ml sustagen.
plus water, water, water.

I've weighed myself this morning and have lost 8.2kg since starting Optifast 3 weeks ago....I"m impressed with that.

Glad I'm not going back to work this week - don't think I'd cope. Off for another nap now....

Thanks for your good wishes again. Hey Carol - thanks - love you too xx.

I survived !

You lot didn't tell me that'd hurt !! The trip to the hospital is now over and I'm at my mums. I had the surgery on Tuesday and felt like I'd been run over by a truck! And I'm at the point whether I don't know if it is pain from the "stab wounds" or wind which is just as painful. Every day I get better though and I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I've been going into your site Myf to see where you were up to at this point! I'll fill you all in more tomorrow but for now I need some more sleep. Thanks for all your good wishes - they are more than welcome.

Special Moments..

Well - the time has come. I'm all packed and ready to go. We leave for my parents place tomorrow and then off to hospital on Tuesday. My little girl gave me a drawing today which says it all really. I thought I'd share it with you...

Bring it on.

I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 3.2kg since starting Optifast. I know I've lost more today as I could have done with a catheter at work today!

I managed to get through today better than yesterday so look out tomorrow! It's my last day at work and I have a meeting from 10 till 2 so the day will fly.

To everyone who has been supporting me - thank you for your good wishes.

Don't worry Bob - not much longer now!! Hope you end up looking as hot as me! Morticia won't be able to keep her hands off you.

Cranky, cranky and just plain sh**ty

I thought this was supposed to get easier!! Mornings I'm fine but afternoons I could chew a baby's bum through a cane chair as my father would say!! By the time I get home of an afternoon I'm a raging idiot and all because I'm missing food. Oh well as they say 'not long now' I suppose.

I think being so busy at work hasn't really helped as I'm really tired just to add to it all. Maybe I'll just have an early night - it's not as if I have anything to stay up for!!! No chips, no chocolate, no icecream......stop thinking about it Kath!

Getting there...

Well, I had a call from the dietician today which was great. She will now see me the day after the op. I also received a notice from the anaesthetist telling me how much I will be up for and a welcome pack from the hospital explaining step by step what is going to happen to me from when I walk in till when I walk out. Can't say I'm not informed!

Had a crap day at work though. Lucky the two other people in my office weren't around - I reckon they would have their arms chewed off by now. I was pretty hungry therefore very cranky and not at all tolerant of things that would usually go to the keeper. Oh well on to another exiting day of Optifast! I'll be taking my soup with me tomorrow - I've made some out the "free" vegies - it'll get me through the day at least.

The Optifast Experience so far....

It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Now I've got some input from the dietician and she's given me the do's and dont's I feel more able. As I've mentioned, John (husband of mine) decided he was going to join me on the Optifast. He has been doing pretty well but I was cooking sausages for the kids tonight and he caved!! I don't really like sausages so I didn't begrudge him for it. I felt very self righteous though!

We did have a slight hiccup last night - we went to a friends house for what they called "my last hoorah" - it was arranged in good faith with them not knowing I would already be on the Optifast. I had a couple of drinks and more food than I should have but all in all in the scope of things I haven't faltered since starting last Tuesday. Back to the 3 shakes a day today and had Salad for dinner tonight as well.

Jess hasn't had a great day today. She's epileptic and has had 3 seizures today. We are in the process of filming her and sending this to the Doc in Sydney. On a more positive note we are off to Sydney next weekend to pick up her new wheelchair which will make life easier. Then she goes into respite on the Monday and we are off to Newcastle for my banding op. Wow - it's getting close now. 5 more working days......

Be Positive..

I've been reading blogs and getting the most valuable information. I now know that my head is going to be the biggest hurdle to get around. And learning to eat differently.....and dealing with GAS!

Another thing is 'friends' even though they are well meaning are already becoming experts in my weight loss! The first person who says to me "should you be having that" is going to be very sorry!

That's a warning to anyone who reads this by the way. It's my journey - please respect that.

Not that anyone has done that yet but I have had it happen many times before and I'm a big girl (in more ways than one) and am responsible for where I am and I can make my own mistakes and hopefully learn from them along the way. The demons I have to battle I will have to battle on my own and positive support is welcomed but anything negative is not. As Myf says "I am my own worst critic" - so I don't need any more criticism than I give myself. I know I'm going to succeed in this so bring it on.

I've had my throat cut !!!

I know nobody ever said being on Optifast was going to be easy but I feel like I've had my throat cut!! I made it to lunch ok and then till about 4pm - and then the hunger set in!! I lasted until 6.30 and had the shake and the steamed vegies. I feel much better now and have some jelly setting in the fridge to take to work tomorrow in case I get hungry again. I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end and it's only early days yet!

Went to my GP today and she said if anyone can do it I can. She said she's seen me try and try to lose weight over the years with little success and she knows this is the right thing to do - so that was encouraging.

I've done the weigh and the measurements and will share them all with you after the op. Strange aren't I but it will be a huge thing for me to share this with the world.

Thanks Karen & Myf for your wonderful encouragement - I read them and love them.

Here goes!!!

Had a call from the Clinical nurse at the Doc's surgery today. The dietician is on hols until 6th Feb so thought I might get out of the Optifast!

NO SUCH LUCK - I start tomorrow morning.

My dear darling husband (that's today he is) has decided he is going to replace breaky and dinner with Optifast as well! That will make life easier not having to cook him dinner and he could stand to lose a bit (I'm whispering this so he can't read it ok!).

Anyway here we go....wonder how long it'll be before I start whinging about Optifast?
Only 14 more sleeps....

I've done it now!

Well - that's it then.....I've paid the money to the Doctor! The countdown begins and I can't wait.
I've been thinking of all the reasons I really want to lose the weight. Some of them are common amongst all of us!

* I want to see my little girl grow up, get married - all the bells and whistles!
* I want to show her how to play tennis
* I want to play tennis myself!
* I want to be more physically able to help my older daughter Jess. If I was fitter I'd feel more able, capable and would cope much better. This would also give my husband (John) more freedom.
* I'd like to feel sexy again.
* I want to go on holidays to an Island resort and feel great about being there - I would never even go there the way I am at the moment.
* I don't want people making allowances for me anymore.

There's a lot of "I's in there but I also think it's time to make it all about me.

My Before Photo....

OK - this is a biggie. I absolutely hate this photo but it confirmed in my head why I am having the banding done. It is quite confronting to see myself in this photo and even bigger to share it on the blog. I'm calling this my "BEFORE" photo....never again will I be like this.

A LITTLE ABOUT ME & MY FAMILY

I found out when I was in my early 20's that I have an under active thyroid (it is in the family). Then in my late 20's I found out I also have PCOS which explains a lot and is probably the main reason I have weight issues. I am now pre-diabetic and have started having joint problems.

I had a baby in 1989 (Jess) who has multiple disabilities and is now 18. I now believe I did what any mother would do and put her first and forgot about me. I gave up all forms of sport and exercise and still ate! But I would do it again as she is worth it. Jess uses a wheelchair for mobility, is intellectually disabled and has Epilepsy.

I then went on to have another baby in 2000 (see how infertile I am!) who is turning 8yrs old (Caitlin) - she is normal whatever that is!

Amongst all that I do have a very supportive husband who is behind me all the way.

I also work full time for TAFE and love it. But as you may imagine I do have a very busy life so I need to lose this weight to keep up with myself!

How I want to look again.....

<
OK so I'll never be 17 again but I'd sure like the body back!

Looking Forward...........

The aim of this blog is to keep a personal log of my journey from here on. I am having Gastric Banding on Feb 12 08 and am excited at the thought of no longer being the "fat chick" in the room. I hope this blog is an inspiration to others as well as a kick in the bum to myself every now and again!

I have a story I've heard a million times - I've been fat for most of my life. I was a very active child and teenager. As I got older I became less active and ate more. Hence I am "Morbidly Obese". I have about 60kg to lose and am not up to sharing what I weigh with anyone yet.

This will be a very emotional journey I'm sure but I'm lucky to have a great husband, parents and friends - all of whom I will be depending on for moral support.

Anyway - here goes...